Interview Abuse

I remember the act we used to have at college, a form of public parody or joke, when students, professors and college personnel take their jobs too seriously for a good scientific institution sort of judgment to, not hold, but to appear to be held.  The eccentric amount of strange behaviors, coming from supposedly educated and sane people, made me not only hate college and education, but loathe the way people like to think and act whenever they freaking feel like it.

Ever noticed kids playing the doctor? where the one with the tiny eye-glasses plays the doctor in their room in the house or on the sofa, and another kid lies down for examination? taking things very seriously for a game, sometimes resulting in inappropriate juvenile behaviors? Well, guess what, that actually happens on larger scales, because children are everywhere, it’s just not a matter of size anymore really.

I’m not speaking about education, though I am capable of, but this post comes in retrospect to some news I received today, and it may contain some forms of retaliation, because a friend of mine got rejected at a job interview in a software company here in Egypt. It made me think for a while actually, but soon it made me rather angry and mad, because sometimes, the things that really matter just do not exist or are ignored on purpose, because at the end of the day, the serious and grim high intellectual genius hard worker who knows about everything all the time and who managed to show all of it in a two hours interview, is not the one needed for the job, he’s just needed for the company’s reputation, or to be more specific, for the interviewers’ self-esteems and thin egos.

I work at a multi-national software corporation here in Cairo, IBM. And let me tell you something about IBM, they promote a certain notion of moderate innovation, it might appear as a something pejorative of what a good corporation is about, hiring geniuses only and the like, but to my surprise, within a team, production relies on .. like 10% innovation and 90% actual hard work! They call it ‘Innovation that matters’ (read this) And sometimes we miss those few percents, because deadlines creep and optimizing it to take 5 seconds instead of 10, is really not crucial now (dude, you have 5 mins to write me a recursive function). This philosophy strikes a perfect balance in employee morale, if all the team members are creative people, they’ll end up being paralyzed, and with a customer that itches the company’s .. back (that was censored btw), delivery’s significance just outweighs other things.

You will need extraterrestrial mental capabilities when you’re making extraordinary software, and you will need extraordinary software to deal with complex needs of people or entities who have organized and complete requirements, aka, when you are Google or Microsoft, Red Hat or Apache. Not when you are an Egyptian software house with Egyptian software engineers, writing Egyptian code for Egyptian customers. Too much Egyptian for things to go by the book .. really. But, people love to go by and off the book whenever the mood allows it! You see them suddenly going exactly by the book in interviews! This is not healthy! And here I remind you of the doctor’s game.

What is the difference between TCP & UDP? (in a senior position interview)

Write me a recursive function that counts from 1 to 10 (really? I see it in the movies now!)

How many hours do you spend daily on your PC (ahem, WTF?) (I will get to this question later).

Well, try that one, I was asked that one in my interview here in IBM, and it was one of the best interviews I ever had, and which I was actually able to show the way I think! I was able to show them, and wait for it .. wait for it some more … my WITS! Please mark that it’s like massively important. I was asked this: Tell us what would you think about writing an ORM framework. I mentioned Hibernate in the CV, but, and here’s what I liked about my interviewer, it’s just a name people toss in resumes, amidst other hundreds, you can actually find, IBM Websphere Process Server, Business Process Execution Language, and some other ugly names!

He made me stand by the freaking board, draw a class diagram with all the relationships you can possibly think of, and told me to give him techniques (justified ones), of how am I going to persist that in a relational database, how Hibernate does it, and how I do it, which is better, and frigging’ WHY? He asks me about polymorphism (and I was like, dude seriously? it’s bla bla bla) and then he again poses the excruciating English word, WHY? That’s the thinking word! not the how btw, the how is a knowing word, the WHY is a thinking word. Especially when they ask you, why DO YOU think? In the interview, I recall, he stopped me and told me: Do not tell me code segments or function names, or syntax notes, I don’t care.

Back to the wit thing, a three-letters word, actually that is the one and only thing that matters in software, if you have the wit, you know, some sort of acumen, some call it aptitude, it’s different among people, and it’s unique to you only, but is quite recognizable if you had the right sort of interview, the wit is something deeply related to yourself, your life and personality, it’s your charisma , that sometimes you forget you’re in an interview when you reach that state, the state I like to call, wit presentation .. folks this is how I think about things all the time.

For example when I’m presenting my wit, and btw I forgot to tell you, you’ll notice that you use your wit in every single work day, it’s just you and how you do things, when I was in the interview, I had the chance to show them that I can think about the same thing in different ways at the same time, and that’s actually my life story! And at work, my peculiar ways of tackling problems from completely strange dimensions, managed to actually grant me the word ‘bravo!’ numerous times! And it granted me the same word in the interview! And that was the punch line thanks to God and only God.

If the interviewer does anything that will drive you away from showing your wit, they’re downright losing it, because without it, sorry, I won’t be able to show you nothing, my answers will be evasive and the fact that I got rejected because you haven’t seen it in me, is because you’re a failure not because I’m a failure. So, bottom line in judging interviews, there are two types of questions, wit-provoking and wit-abolishing. For sorrow, most interviewers prepare questions that fall in the second category. Sad.

Now back to the funniest question of all time; how many hours do you spend on your PC a day? and what do you do in them? and, do you follow technology news? He stereo-typed it as casual questions, a get-to-know-you-better question.

Oh! you want to know me, okay, I watch porn man! I spend 8 hours writing code, and another 8 hours enjoying pornography, actually, I’m thinking of starting my own bi-curious blog, oh, did I mention that I’m gay? Sorry, I’m gay, and I like you! [Someone, please cheer for Sean Penn! gay guys rock man I have material to enhance my sarcastic abilities!][Anybody saw the movie btw?]

My friend got rejected because of that interview, after he passed a teasing bone-crushing technical one already! He was rejected because the get-to-know-you thing didn’t relate to the damn ape of a dickhead taste. Chances are my friend will isA get a way better job somewhere else and do the same tasks without the world trembling down, or someone else will reach the dumbass along the chain, and the fathead will forget to ask him that, will accept him, and he’ll do the same tasks too. Nobody is thinking about the task now .. the darn job! Completely stupid don’t you think.

Is it even legal to ask personal questions? What do I do with my time not writing code, who ** cares (God I hate censoring my own posts!), and what if I don’t follow the news, what the hell would that possibly affect? My ill-passion? hello!, if I had passion you already killed the crap out of it. Get-to-know-you-well my ass man .. since we’re gay and all! ** bastard!

God I really hope my friend finds a cool job very soon, he worked so hard really, and we were very glad he survived that technical capsize.

Sorry for the satirical tone I was full of it,

Marwa

Marwa.

When you bravely took the eighteen hostile stabs, emroidered in your veil, in the silence of pigs or lambs who claim to have civilization, order and democracy.

I learned something.

A very hardship of a lesson.

Those people .. they hate us the most.

A courtroom is not a battle field, not a suicide bombing street, not a city with terrorist attacks, not a country with violated sovereignty.

It is a place where justice it supposed to prevail, be cherished and executed.

But.

We all witnessed.

Their ancient .. eminent .. hatred towards us. Their ignorant news breaks, their ignorant speeches.

I do not incite hate.

I state a fact.

An unbreakable one.

Those people ..

.. they hate us the most!

And God .. informed us .. hundreds of years ago .. that .. we may love them .. but they will never love us back ..

And no matter how we pretend to hate them back .. we will never ever .. get even.

Marwa.

Thank you, from the deepest abysses of my torn heart.

I needed the slap-on-the face terribly. We all needed it.

And I wish we never forget it. And I wish we keep your image in our minds no matter how peaceful they falsely stand before us.

May God have mercy on your soul.

And may He forgive us all,

Change in Egypt?

[This is my first attempt in writing a descent article, feedback is profusely appreciated and asked for]

===

If you are a quintessential Egyptian pedestrian, running your daily errands in the city, maybe relying on public transportation, or, if you have the luxury, relying on your private means, you may very well hear some popular Egyptian expressions; ones that mostly are emotional punctures from life pressure, filled with rage, anger and hatred towards, ‘7al el donya’ (current state of affairs).

You shall notice that people always know something is badly wrong with their lives and their country, they can converse with you about their subjective views of corruption and chaos on many levels, how they always feel wronged and short, and how they most strongly desire justice and reform. However, you shall also notice, that most people can not really articulate about what is wrong, and this is why, in my opinion, they feel a certain amount of void, that is sometimes only filled with fear and confusion.

They do not have an appropriate set of rules or doctrines to guide them in what to do, what to expect or how to judge, when it comes to anything related to justice or reform, or change generally. They know change is the solution they crave, they just are oblivious when it comes to this question: Change to which state?, or How to change?

I will make a moderate change in subject (or is it not a change in subject), when I quickly discuss religion’s disposition in our lives in the meantime. You maybe surprised by the number of people that think religion can solve everything, but again, they’re intimate with a shallow concept, without having the necessary means to actualize it in reality. On an interesting notion, I think this is religion’s exact disposition, it’s a shallow concept, because if it was not, those people may already have scored some points in making reform.

I will get back later in this article to religion, but I just would like to bring to your attention that it is roughly the only good answer people have now to their dilemma of accomplishing change, as shallow as it may seem, it has some correctness in its essence. [Have you heard someone saying: Democracy will solve everything? you can substitute democracy with as many doctrines or political views as you wish].

———

Have you watched the movie, V for Vendetta? Have you felt, that in some scenes, the story had some lines that you knew you had in mind, but never knew a way to tell? Were you captivated by the notion of ‘the idea’?

Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof.

V, set himself out, to fight for the freedom of people, and to bring salvation to them, from the government’s coerced fear and ill-use of power, he believed that change in this way is what people need. They need .. redemption.

Have you heard of Anarchy? that ‘authority’ in entirety should be subjugate to people, and not the opposite, due to not being efficient, governments should be absolutely subdued, and people rule. How does that relate, in your opinion, to chaos?

Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I’m an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It’s fair! – The Dark Knight

I can list you hundreds of motivational quotes as they like to call them, I can write you many rhetorical speeches about change, anarchy and chaos. But let’s get to invigoration later, I just need  you now to concentrate with me. Let’s pick, for the sake of composing my point, the following scheme, to try and change Egypt:

• We shall form a party or a cult, with some political visions and goals.
• We shall sketch our plot and plan the major coup of all time, and take over everything.
• We shall redeem people, accomplish the reform they’ve been dreaming of, and they shall live happily.

Form a party

I, myself, am quite impressed with that anarchy thing, anarchy doesn’t come as a reform, it does come as a deform, annul everything, and then form from ground zero. Let’s assume that we managed to form that cult, scored a political recognition at the meantime, had our publicity and outreach completely successful, and actually made some people think: ‘Anarchy is the solution for everything’.

The coup

Well, before planning a coup, we must harbor some important knowledge, we have to understand people, we have to become intimate with their identities, religious ones, societal and political; we have to know what they need and want, we have to know everything about people, so that we can predict how will they react.

With a hero (along with a mask most probably), let’s assume we contrived a most notorious revolution, and the outcomes were as exactly as expected, and we actually were able to take over authority, and achieved ground zero from a ruling point of view.

The aftermath

The reform, the stories of the building is now being built, but we’ve done our studies, we can cope with people needs, we shall contain all of them, and we can solve all issues. Let’s assume we’ve done that too. Our sole governor now is people’s consent, not coerced power.

People will be grateful, we will live happily.

———

My sketch was a little bit juvenile, was it not? I did not discuss many important issues, for example, what will be the case with our relationship with the outer world? How will our economy go? what will be the case with our culture, what will be our religion, or, how will we deal with this issue anyways? How about not paying regard to my sketch, and let’s talk about the perfect sketch. The sketch where all obstacles are overrun smoothly, and where the audacity to contain and rule the human race is actually existent.

If this sketch existed, even more, was successfully executed, what would that mean? It would speak richly, of how intelligent the human race is, when it comes to governing and controlling its own existence, it would mean that man is able to devise the necessary set of rules, laws and morals that can govern his being, in all ages. It would denote that man can resolve all his issues, and that he just needs time to do so. It would mean human life is absolutely explicable to man. Therefore, he will not need any kind of help or outside revelation to assist him with making earth a happier planet. It would finally mean that man does not need a higher form of power whatever it was, and in symbol, will regard religion and God, as absolutely useless.

And here, dear readers, I ought to stop you, and introduce you to the concept of: thinking by contradiction. The method has only one simple step; that is to begin your thinking process, by the end result abstractly, and then walk the chain of events step by step, backwardly. And I declare it here, that if the perfect sketch existed, I will be the first one to declare my atheism, because in that case, my mind will contradict my creator’s very core reason of existence [which is man need God, man worship God], which will be nothing short of ludicrous and libelous in that case.

The other way around, which in fact is yet another proof that God do indeed exist as clear as a green leaf with breeze drops of divine beauty, the other way around, is to begin the chain by actually saying: ‘The perfect sketch is impossible’ or saying: ‘it does exist, but it’s one and only one, we just chose not to pick it’, and as an exercise, I’m sure you’ll walk along backwards and see why there’s religion in the first place! And that any sketch is juvenile in essence, because we do not have what it takes to make it otherwise. We need terrible help. [So, after all, democracy is juvenile .. what a bummer]

———

A quick leap back to anarchy and chaos, and after giving it thought, you shall realize that chaos is actually the best option after religion, in governing the human race, it is indeed the fairest option, any others will do nothing but make things way worse, and history records fatality rates, so go compare between how much people were killed in chaos, and how much were killed in democracy. You’ll be surprised! in fact, take this millennium only for a starter! [God damn you America!]

So, the void, the … problem!, what the typical Egyptian pedestrian feels these days, the corruption he feels, the chaos he’s living in, on all levels, and to his surprise, is his best option now. And, in the most bold font I declare all political parties here in Egypt that aims at replacing the current regime, with all their visions, objectives, and goals of change and reform .. and justice and whatever fancy rhetorical things they keep shouting out loud, I declare them all as absolutely idiotic and hypocritical or just completely illiterate. Period.

Any trial now, to make change, will be a massive liability, it will harm people the most, it will be like breaking a straw that holds a bridge! All will fall. Worse than that, it’ll be coming with good intentions, so people won’t actually see what’s coming towards them, the stampede that will crush them will be so in disguise they won’t discern their doom in it at the right time.

It’s very bad, but it relatively is the best one can conjure in the meantime, change on a scale that large, is simply not our specialty any more (actually never was), and our mere devotion should be to just .. keep it that way for now. Yes, people live in slums, people are hungry, rich people are arrogant, our societal equation is screwed up, we’re falling apart, we are .. and we are .. I know that, I live that, but believe me, that’s the best state of affairs now, and God is really merciful.

———

So, we now know that the only one solution, the one true uprise to a perfect state, to a real reform, is through religion, because religion simply depicts a bond, that’s power only manifested and bestowed by its creator, and because God is the most divine, the bond by proxy is. The bond, to be established, needed a prophet 14 centuries ago, and since then, it needed people, leaders, scholars and monarchs, who can realize the bond, keep it and save it through the days, upholding people, through God’s divine unbreakable doctrines and laws. Until, one day, the bond was broken ruthlessly in the Ottoman state, lead already by perishing its outreach across the Islamic nation. And since then, chaos prevailed, and I believe God’s mercy and care let it only to prevail that far, the prospect could have been absolutely more worse and evil than that.

However, having the intellect to say religion is the true uprise, the all needed redemption, is some thing; making the uprise .. is so another. In fact, if we know our religion, we would know that our prophet actually predicted that chaos is inevitable, actually its shards started to poison the Islamic states after the prophet’s death immediately, but nonetheless, I’m talking about the current state. What have we been told to do when we reach this state? Have we been told to erupt riots and give religion back its sovereignty? Have we been told, to plot sketches and plans? Have we been told to circumvent religion in a political representation, with the intention (oh, how smart!) to reestablish the lost bond?

Can we reestablish the bond? okay; time for some thinking by contradiction, if we were told to try and reestablish it, and if we knew we’re able to do that, then why would our Prophet predict it as a dooms age?! why would he be utterly scared for us? Why would he be concerned if we could manage our affairs and build the bond through our current trials and achieve change? The fact that it was predicted should tell us that the solution is to behold the current state of affairs! trying to seize what’s left of our religious beliefs and morals, live day by day until death creeps upon us. And that’s exactly what he told us to do.

Oh my god. Religion too tells us to do that! Religion knew that chaos is the best option at the current time, religion do NOT advice a plan sketch! God created religion, and God actually knows better. Religion predicted that chaos will be upfront, and that religion itself will be strange .. it’ll be something so marginalized that people will not see the power in it, they will not see that it’s the solution to the very paradox of human existence. They might know it but it won’t be effective in practice, or otherwise, God would’ve told us about the exact sketch to plot and the exact reform to plan for.

So, I especially, then, declare whoever thinks he’s a religious political party as utterly stupid. Period.

———

So, what is the morale of the article? Let me keep things clear and list it in points, so they can be comprehended easily:

• We need to get more intimate with religion. One has to think and contemplate about God and religion all the time. You shall find the lead easily, just .. start.
• Thinking by contradiction proved to be very smart, and can conclude arguments very quickly.
• Things are, because God, his Prophet and his Religion tell us they are. If you believe in that, you will comprehend the world.
• Atheists, or wait, anything-ists are people with juvenile delinquency.
• The change you can score, is inversely proportional to how big the scale it needs is. That said, you can actually change an umpteenth of things, you just need to know what those things are. [Hint: stop telling lies and spreading rumors].
• We do not need revolution. We need intellect to be ready for the end when it comes. Want to know about the end? again, get intimate with religion.
• One has to learn how to appreciate what they have, and always start from there.
• Chaos is not fair. It just has few rivals, of which none are fair. Religion is the fairest, because God is just.

And Islam … is religion.

———

Change in Plans

I was planning I’d be a happily married man after 8 years.

Well, I’m making a tiny modification to the schedule, making it:

I’m now planning I’d be a happily married man in eternity.

Or.

in whatever time ..

The other day, me and my friends hung out together, and I don’t know why, but that topic just keeps popping up in most of our conversations, and the theme usually has some abundant uses of the words: Hopeless. Mafeesh Fayda.

I don’t like things getting complicated, I usually like to have them figured out beforehand, any sudden intricacies morose me, and btw, I believe that whoever considers “adaptive to change” a quality, is just inaccurate, I mean what use is any planning then? Even worse, people tend to misuse the term to deliberately make changes that they feel like doing, talk about lack of organization. Marriage in Egypt is that messy, there’s actually no book to go by, except in financial 7agat!

So, the hell with planning in whole.

And I ask God to grant me patience, whenever I see a mother buying her little most sweet angel of a daughter  a pair of teeny tiny sneakers, or when I see a father buying his son ice cream in the mall. Or whenever I wake up from the fantasy of doing the same to my little sister, only to find that she’s not my daughter, and when I just can’t spot her mom around, though sometimes I get a long with my sister impersonating her. They don’t notice it, but for me, I live that fantasy .. every day .. and every single night.

When we park at the garage, and I see a family van with twin babies in their little seats, their dad folding the pram and putting it in the trunk, their mom fastening the tiny belts. Whenever I go to a wedding! or receive chocolate at work after my colleagues get married. When I see nuptials photos on facebook.

Or, and it gets funnier, when I keep repeating girl names for my wife out loud, as if I’m calling at them, to see what will sound the cutest, and I choose favorite boy and girl names for children, and keep thinking how teachers at school will sound, when they mention my children names.

Noha Ibraheem Hamdi .. mm .. a little weird, no? Hana2 Ibraheem Hamdi .. mm .. that’s nice! also Lobna. For boys, Khaled though it sounds too .. mm .. just different, Khaled Ibraheem Hamdi, also Hassan .. Hassan Ibraheem Hamdi, I like that name awy. And their mommy, dining with me after tucking the little things in bed, making me breakfast after they all went to school, the kisses on the forehead .. and .. cartoon movie weekends!

Isn’t everyone supposed to get what they deserve? Why do I feel that this is just inaccurate bardo? Because if it’s true, then I don’t deserve this, and I really think I do ..

It’s one of these moments when I feel that I just won’t do without God khales, and when I, though don’t really believe, hope that Maths isn’t everything fe3lan, and that Rabena Beywaffa2 keda men 3ando.

I pay very little regard…to what any young person says on the subject of marriage. If they profess a disinclination for it, I only set it down that they have not yet seen the right person – Jane Austen (1775 – 1817), Mansfield Park

That is what marriage really means: helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible and autonomous beings who do not run away from life – Paul Tournier

We’re heroes then, holding ourselves together that far, being single and all ..

though sometimes I feel I’ve gone completely nuts,

[I need some highlight these days, something to shake the groove]

It’s really funny .. (warning: a lame post)

.. how ‘off the book’ usually ends up being the most important business/office etiquette.

You always have to improvise, and man can this message I received today in my hotmail be more creative!

[Note: yes, people still use the forward button!]

I hate ..

.. it when things aren’t clear enough.

In human relations, people are just not solemn .. why?!

Maybe I’m a little bit superstitious and paranoid, but sometimes it really sucks .. actions have to have reasons, and those reasons had better have explanations!

I never .. and I mean never for real, not metaphorically, not exaggerating, not anything .. NEVER have I understood what will really go wrong if things were clear keda on the table, in front of everybody .. at least the concerned parties.

Some things should never be told – I never believed in that .. never!

I can’t say this, or I wasn’t able to say that like that or in whatever tone – wala el hawa!

Chances are that the good is actually in telling everything btw .. really .. think about it for a while and you’ll see that it’s a best practice.

You think I’m still young and experienced? maybe .. but my beliefs are getting stronger on the subject, than be willing to change the least bit, and I follow my own lead on that and it works with rational people perfectly well.

And those people are a rarity now!,

Dad, would you write in my blog?

[Dinner]

Me: Dad, how about writing a couple of posts telling us about your Thailand trip, the one you did years ago. I shall post them in my blog, and it should be very cool.

Dad: Yah, those were quite the days! Though sometimes I drop the details.

Me: Well, writing about it should solve that, shouldn’t it?

Dad: Lemme see.

[Sipping Tea the other day]

Me: So, how’s it going?

Dad: Whenever I have the time isA.

–

My father says that the days he spent in that small Muslim suburban in south Thailand with his group, were some of the best days he ever spent in his life, he took off from Riyadh that year, and he returned directly to Cairo to spend the rest of the vacation with us. I recall one night, we were in mid-summer, and with him on the phone, and he telling us that’s it’s raining at his end heavily!

We were young, and honestly, I wasn’t that okay with the idea, I mean he should spend the holidays with us, not in some south-east-Asian country 9000 miles away!

But, and I put that on repeat, there was some stories to tell .. that are nothing short for exhilarating! Nature, the people, their humble life styles, their little shelters, their big white-marble-floor mosques, heaven-like sunrises and sunsets, smiling faces, and everything actually. It was so pristine that it makes you regret living in the middle-east ..

Anyways, I wouldn’t want to tell them now, I guess dad’s version should be way nicer .. I wish he’d write about them soooon!

Waiting for you father,

Twitter … twitter?!!

First of all .. I really couldn’t get this thing .. I mean don’t I already abuse my status message on FB and tease my friends all day long with the most cliched things ever!

I mean, do we need another way of publishing boring stuff?

Well, when you’re bored, then why not? lol

Yalla, I’m having fun .. follow me.

Follow me, what a false absolutely misplaced and misleading phrase :D

Follow my tweets I mean!

It’s ibhog, my favorite nickname as always, the one I nailed down on facebook too btw.

Let’s see where’s this going,

[As if anybody would possibly care!]

Meditation .. Part 3

This is the final part 3ashan ana te3ebt.

All people tel3o 3arfeen enn el moshkela is in sins.

All what’s happening is because we have bad deeds, we do awful things .. we lie to people and to ourselves, we don’t respect God or religion, we don’t respect morals, we pretend to know what we’re doing but we actually don’t know squat.

Mesh keda bass, people also know that the problem is in sins that weren’t atoned or regretted, ya3ny when you do a bad thing, do you regret it (as in really actually regret it and be miserable for a while), do you have penance, purgatory .. or whatever of those fancy religious words?

And that’s not news, we already agreed that people know everything.

So, after some thinking, and as close as I was to giving in men kotr el soda3.

I think enn fe moseeba akbar bekteer men mawdoo3 enn you have sins. Moseeba akbar men enn you have sins, or even ones that you don’t regret 7atta ..

Ana ektashaft enn fe nas 3andaha a very strange symptom .. fe nas fakra enn a sin is something very terrible that the chances you get close to them is very rare if not impossible.

Sins for those poeple are circumvented in only one set, that has very few crimes for that matter, not sins.

Eh el ghaba2 da?

ha?

Ommal leeh sammoha sins ba2a!

Law kanet el sins heya el balawy el kebeera zay el 2atl wel ser2a .. ma balaha we khalas! Kan rabbena 2allena keda we khelesna!

Why did our prophet teach us for 23 years then?

To tell us enn ya gama3a khallo balko sins are killing, raping and stealing and lying to people?

So the moment I should actually start to worry, is when I kill someone? Sa3etha ba2a a2ool enn wow I committed a sin?

La2 de fe ba2a balwa tanya.

Maynfa3sh etneen yeb2a 3andohom the concept mokhtalef. Ya3ny actually momken tela2y wa7ed 3ando el ser2a aw el kezb 7alal!

Ya khabar eswed .. el sins ba2et hobb fag2a subjective .. saba7 el tkhallof ya3ny.

Law el sins subjective makansh hayb2a fe 7aga esmaha religion btw! BAR NONE!

Wait .. howa y3ny eh sins are subjective?

Ya3ny shewayet el nas elly mashyeen 3ala hawahom .. howa da el hawaa btw .. we rabena 2allena 3alih

Zay el banat el moghaffaleen elly beyelbeso el Higab fel share3 bass teegy oddam ebn 3ammaha tekassel, walla fel fara7 tela2eeha 2ala3eto oddam el nas kollaha.

El nas elly betetfarrag 3ala el aflam we betroo7 el cinemat we fakra enn da 7alal! 7ALAL! we mafhoosh haga!

La2 NO!

Da fe far2 mabeen ennak tetfarrag 3al film wenta 3aref enn da ghalat, we ma ben ennak tetfarrag 3alih wenta faker enno 7alal, 7alal zay masalan ennak tetyammem we mafeesh maya

Da far2 raheeb

RAHEEB

We a7eb humbly from my own blog hena a2ool

.. enn heya de el moseeba el kebeera awy awy awy ..

.. heya de moshkelete el mashakel ..

.. de esmaha Fetna .. ell lakhbata weslet le daraget enn  bta3 70% men el sins .. ba2et hobb ez fag2atan 7alal! 100%

Ya lahwy!

Ow3a tekoon men el nas dool !

E3mel el sins elly enta 3ayzha! koll elly nefsak feeh .. bass teb2a 3aref enno ghalat law sama7t!

Those people ya gama3a never think they have sins, so they never really regret anything, those people tend to explain what’s wrong with the world in ways that are nothing but erred and wrong and manipulating.

El Moshkela kaman enn those types ..

.. they will never be convinced that they do sins .. a sin for them is something extravagantly horrible!

.. they didn’t know that they’ve done the DARNEST thing .. they do sins anyways .. in the Universe accounts and balances .. de shewayet sins anyways .. bass they DON”T know :(

Tesadda2o enn fe banat mesh beyelbeso el Hijab we fakreen enn howa da el sa7 aslan ..

.. el 3aks ba2a howa khalas el sa7!

.. da heya de bezzabt el Fetna .. we were told about this btw .. this is the darkest age!

.. we’re living in the darkest age of all time ..

.. it’s very tricky because though it’s very dark, it appears as if it’s very bright and prosperous and even happy!

.. the whole world is in denial! mesh ana wenta we howa we heya bass .. la2 de kollaha kharbana yafandem.

Fe nas hena betesra2 we fakra enn da 7a2aha we 2ennaha law masara2etsh teb2a heya de el ghalta!

Fe whole countries conquer other countries we fakra enno howa da el sa7! Killing hundreds of thousands of people!

Tab begadd ansewr honestly

.. fe gareema akbar men de? yeegy el kalb el amricany in Iraq ye3azzeb we ye2attel we kollena nesa22aflo (3an ektena3!).

.. da ana mesh fahem ezzay Rabena begadd saket .. fe3lan howa Rabena el wa7eed elly ye2dar yoskot 3ala keda we yemhelna yemken netnayel nfoo2! ..

.. God is sending us warnings and signs EVERYDAY because he’s merciful bass e7na mafeesh fayda ya gada3 .. meddeyenha ehh wala ka2ennena 2a3deen feha 3alatool.

.. fe lakhbata gamda we rabena yostor wey naggena men el Fetna de

Azraf haga .. enn kelmet Fetna de momken teb2a cliched shewaya ..

.. bass I hope you get me .. I mean by it .. el lakhbata el raheeba .. wel mafaheem elly literaly ma3koosa .. wel nas elly mesh wakhda balha men elly bete3melo ..

The real meditation then should be the one you do with your own self, we really have to be very careful la2enn el mawdoo3 khateer geddan, ana mesh ba2ool nebattal ne3mel haga khales

.. bass at least ..

.. we MUST know if what we do in our daily lives .. between wake ups and lay downs .. is it a sin .. or not?

Me?

Maskhara .. ana momken asaddarhom if you want .. and if there’s something wrong I do that I’m not aware about, I hope that God will give me the chance to know it before I die .. the least I could do is regret doing it.

I’m sorry for being that long ..

.. bass I have a happy piece of news to deliver ..

This depressing theme I was talking about, this bad state of affairs has some extremely important perks ..

.. one of them is that ..

.. I have hope! ..

.. I have a glimpse of the problem ..

.. and I have a glimpse of the solution as well ..

.. I know what’s the right state to bounce back to .. [God I hope I do bounce back before I die! :S]

and it’s very comforting btw

bass those other people .. they know that there’s a problem .. but they don’t know what it is .. instead they die trying to figure out what’s wrong ..

.. I know what’s wrong ..

and I know that the solution won’t come but from people who do know what’s wrong ..

.. because no matter how many times you say: “Stop”, water will keep pouring down.

And I have a profound belief, that when the world has finally fell completely apart, when it’s the end fe3lan, I have a belief I’ll be on the right side isA because I know the right in it, and I believe it’ll be the right I’m craving now in this life ..

.. the right ..

.. that gives me the feeling aslan that I have sins .. but if you don’t know your sins, then you don’t know what’s the right in not doing them, and then you won’t discern the right side at the end to stand by ..

and this makes me feel invincible 3ala fekra,

[Funny thing about ends, people argue whether they're near or not, but they forget that ends most absolutely and always .. come!]

[Ya3ny masalan the fact there's a judgment day that will actually come is more horrifying than any description of it!]

10 Things I Learned at the Customer Visit Today

Ok lemme see, besides not getting too smart because it won’t do you any good, the whole place is infected with stupidity anyways, so no matter how smart and observant you’ll allow yourself to show off, you’ll end up the most stupid human being, not only that, you’ll be blamed for it.

Can you imagine being blamed by stupid people!

So, the 10 things I learned today at the customer:

1. Do NOT, and I mean NEVER EVER in the life of me I would say it any calmer, do NOT parade your smart ass.
2. Donkey work, okay this is important, focus please, donkey work is THE ONE AND ONLY thing that works at the customer, stick to it like glue that won’t go.
3. Never even THINK that there would be a working internet connection, or else people will get smarter (God forbid man, God forbid!).
4. Never schedule anything after a customer visit, dude it IS infinite in essence. And do ye know why? because stupidity is infinite.
5. Do not be a planning psych, 99% of the time, things DO go other than planned, I mean sometimes you feel that the plan is to go OFF the plan. [Plan for Today: Deployment][Reality: Deployment, Database Migration, Database Setup, Demo, Requirements & CR Gathering]. [Plan for Today: Deployment at another customer site][Reality: Oops we forgot to tell you that you'll be meeting with head mesh3aref le hay2et mesh 3aref eh for comments on the report bta3 mesh 3aref eh].
6. Throw yourself esteem in the garbage on your way to the customer, you’ll be treated like trash by people who ‘nothingness’ is an upgrade for their state of affairs. I had once to stand before some kind of general to examine me with his dead eyes, to decide whether I’m respectable/safe enough to walk the halls with my ThinkPad or not.
7. Be a good hearer, not listener, I mean pretend to listen .. but what you actually do is just hear, because man if you listen, if you summon your strength and actually listen, you’ll perish in seconds. (after throwing up internally for like a hundred times).
8. Organizational hierarchy, chain of command, customer focal point, engagement manager, analyst and all those fancy words we study in our ACed classrooms and conference halls .. HUH are a very sad hoax. Chances are you’ll do ALL this in the course of 30 mins to 6 hours at the customer site. Sometimes you turn into a technician who fixes the network cable, resolve a server issue, or even answer a question like: “Howa DB2 da leeh batee2 keda, da SqlServer asra3, howa leeh maynfa3sh neshtaghal beeh?”.
9. Remember the old time joke of the disconnected power supply or network cable? It’s NOT a f***ing joke! (and seems it never will be!)
10. Have lots of credits in your cell, lots of money in your wallet, a flash memory, a portable HD, another two of those with two members with the files backed up, and above all, have LOTS of patience. [If you find that they have turned off USB slots, guess who's screwed without Blank CDs!]

Last exciting piece of info, if you want to witness Murphy’s law in action before your bear eyes, request to join a customer visit, I mean I never really saw it actualized that seriously .. maskhara!

I love my job, I love my job, I love my job!,

[ibhog: you're in denial]

[ibhog: not too proud of it man .. not too proud ..]

Mind Teaser

When you hear the often used expression: “The only truth in this world” ..

.. do you think there’s only one truth in the world?

Isn’t this abode big enough to hold some more ones, or that truth is big enough to hold them all already?

If I say that there’s actually more than one, and list you some truths ..

.. wait!

what’s the difference between truths and facts?

we never heard that expression: “The only fact in this world”, did we?

I think there are many facts, but they all emerge, together, into only one truth .. right?

okay

What is it then?

And ..

.. if there were many truths, what does that mean? (some are fake ones??, or some only are descendants of a bigger one).

Some people usually say that the only truth in this world is Death.

Some call whatever gives them comfort and serenity, the truth.

AND

if there was really only ONE truth in the world ..

.. shouldn’t we ALL know it perfectly well.

Do you know this one undeniable, undoubted, ultimate and the only one truth,

[The question actually should be: do you know that you know it yet?]

[Can there be no truth(s) ?].

Apparently, the world news became so insignificant ..

.. and people had to ignore Obama’s visits around the world, the swine flu break-out, the world recession, the droughts in Africa, Chrysler merger, education and health care problems in Egypt, unemployment rates, traffic havoc in our capital city, our erred religious and societal identities, our exploded maternity rates, our political hazards and dysfunctional conventions, our financial and economical problems, ranging from people who starve at night craving bread, to people who can’t afford even ecological choices in terms of shelter or luxurious living.

.. we even skipped some important meat, when our national team scored a historical victory with the world football champion, and how in the same week we gave up and lost it to USA in a very strange game, tailed by a sick disgusting scandal, publicized by shewayet 7aywanat hena in the Egyptian press scene.

.. we overlooked our industry’s weakness, and how the whole world is leaping in giant steps towards civilization and technological advances, how NASA and Google are literally changing the face of the earth by the damn minute. How Oracle acquired Sun, as if it was shopping!

.. we attack whoever speaks like I do in this post, accusing them of denying us happiness, and how they excel at making us miserable, by looking only at the empty half of the cup .. and when we’re done parading our esteems .. we continue in savoring the world’s oxygen without making the least bit of anything, be it a difference .. a contribution .. even a word to try and change.

.. we are NOTHING .. e7na fe3lan 3ala 3al 3alam da :(

Not two days ago, someone posted this video on facebook, and I really didn’t know what to feel exactly after I watched it.

I mean .. I laughed my eyes out .. especially at the guys’ responses to el okht el mozee3a rabena ya rab yebareklaha fe her career we te grow keda ya rab 2ader 3ala koll she2.

And I don’t know why, I reminisced about a very bad emotion I used to feel sa3et ayam el kolleya .. a feeling of complete despair, we 2enn sa3at keda, mafeesh fayda is the least the leassssstttt you could say.

we 2en kelmet fe haga ghalat de mesh mekaffeya el bala el azra2 elly e7na feeh, we 2enn fe ashkal lazem fe3lan tetmese7 mas7 men 3ala el khareeta abl ma actually nebda2 ne3mel ay haga.

please don’t ruin this by saying it’s controversial because it’s not,

[BTW, if you say I shouldn't advertise for the video, you're right, bass I couldn't help but write this post, men kotr mana maf2oo3, don't worry, my blog isn't that famous anyway].

[To Amro Adeeb: begadd mesh 3aref a2ollak eh! :S]